Lollypops and Glass Walls
by BunBunBabe
Summary: Neal is bored at work one and decides to liberate some money from his co-workers in some haremless betting that he can seduce their boss in an hour. Slash, Humor and implied sexual activity.
1. Chapter 1

**(( Here is a Random Plot Bunny of mine that came from a mixture of energry drinks and fried brain from college papers I hope you enjoy and review like crazy)) (( do to fall request there is going to be more than one chapter each chapter a new food and more humor seduction  
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**Chapter 1: Lollypops and Glass Walls **

Neal was bored…no that was an understatement he was beyond bored, it was one of the slowest work days in history or that's how Neal felt and he couldn't bring himself to even pull out his drawing pad. Leaning back in his chair Neal looked across the bull pen and up into Peter's office where the agent was busy and looking very stressed out again.

Getting a clever idea Neal stood up and sauntered over to Diana's desk where she and Jones were talking. "How would you two each like to make two hundred dollars?" he asked with a smile. Both agents looked at each other before looking back at Neal.

"Okay, what's the catch?" Diana asked Neal put his hands up in defense but with a charming smile on his face. "I'll bet each of you two hundred dollars that I can seduce Peter in just one hour without saying a word to him or getting close than the chair across his desk," Neal claimed, the other agents within ear shot walked over.

After a minute the entire team was circled around, everyone knew Peter was married and straight as an arrow and would never bend to Neal's seductive tactics no matter how much time they gave him. Soon every agent had agreed to the two hundred dollar bet.

With a smirk Neal excused himself claiming he had to run to the store down the street for something before the clock started. The agents returned to their minimal paperwork wondering what Neal needed from the store. Ten minutes later the ex con returned with a small paper bag in his hand dropping it on his desk he fished around inside and pulled a deep red and a bright blue lollypop out of the bag and made his way to Peter's office.

As he walked toward the stairs he un-wrapped the sucker and stuck it in his mouth the spiced cherry apple was intense but very good. Neal knocked on the door and slid into the office before Peter could tell him otherwise; taking his usual seat Neal watched as Peter worked. He knew the clock had started.

Peter looked up when Neal had walked into his office the white stick of a lollypop sticking out of his mouth, right away he knew the ex con was up to something. Since Neal had come in quietly and sat down he didn't bother to question him. It was only after Neal started to make a loud slurping sound did he look up again. At that moment he really wished he hadn't, between the time Neal entered his office and the time he looked up Neal had pulled out a second lollypop and had decided to work on both lollypops at once.

In the back of his mind Peter had to correct his dirty thoughts and say Neal looked like a chipmunk and nothing else. Right away he looked back down at his paperwork and tried to block out the sounds his partner was making, his plan was working until Neal started to make little moaning sounds. The tip of the pencil Peter was writing with snapped in half before he realized he had pressed down too hard.

"Neal can you go back to your desk and actually do some work, you're distracting me," Peter remarked as he looked back at Neal who had started licking the red lollypop while leaving the blue one in his mouth making his lips dark purple as if they were swollen and bruised.

Shaking his head Neal began to alternate licking to each lollypop. The ex con made sure he showed off all his skills as he made sure to get every side of each lollypop. _ He's going to crack any minute now; there is no way he can last any longer than this…_ Neal thought as he gave a louder moan.

Rising from his chair Peter walked around his desk and ripped the lollypop out of Neal's mouth before leaning in and kissing him, wanting to taste the mixture of the two lollypop flavors with the Italian roast with vanilla that was Neal's natural taste. Peter used his free hand to pull Neal's head back a bit by his hair and slipped his tongue into Neal's mouth. When he broke the kiss he popped the lollypop back into Neal's mouth and straightened up. "Now get back to work you must have some report to do," he said as he moved back so Neal could leave.

Smirking Neal pulled the lollypop back out with a pop "I'll get right on it, and I'll see you later Peter," Neal remarked as he winked at the agent and left to collect his money. Walking down the stairs to the bullpen Neal smirked. "So how long did our fearless leader last anyway?" he asked around the lollypop still in his mouth.

"Two minutes and four seconds which was pretty good work Neal I have to admit," Diana said as she handed her check over. Soon everyone in on the bet handed Neal a check for two hundred dollars. Neal smiled as he took his checks and put them in a small lock box in his desk to bring to the bank later. He grabbed a plastic wrapper for one of the lollypops and put it back in the paper bag so he could finish the other one first. By that time he pulled out a sheet of paper and began to draw.

When the work day finally ended six hours later everyone went home except for Peter and Neal, Neal sauntered into Peter's office with a smirk on his face. Walking around the desk he straddled Peter's lap. "You lasted longer than I expected…Diana said you lasted two minutes and four seconds," Neal remarked as he leaned in and kissed Peter. "Mmm… next time get the coconut vanilla one that one tastes better, by the way how much did you make this time?" Peter asked when he broke the kiss.

"Four thousand even, it helps when all twenty members of your team think your straight as an arrow and can't be seduced by me…so how about dinner my treat?" Neal asked as he stole another kiss.

The next morning Neal walked out of the elevator and walked over to the glass double doors of the white collar unit, when he got to the door he noticed a memo taped to the door. "By order of Reese Hughes, no one is allowed to give Neal Caffrey lollypops because it causes workplace distraction," Neal smirked "Oh well… there's always pickles…" he remarked as he walked into the office.


	2. Chapter 2

( here is chapter 2 of this funny phallic food story, and per a request there will be a super funny chapter coming up soon so I hope you all enjoy and review)

**Chapter 2: Pickles and Glass Doors**

Taking his seat Neal saw everyone was quite busy and still most likely upset at the loss of their money. Leaning back in his chair Neal looked over at Diana and Jones and got up with a smile on his face. "Good morning how are you two on this beautiful morning?" Neal asked with a smile. Both of them looked at Neal with a 'don't talk to us unless you're going to give our money back look'.

"You guys don't have to worry I'm not in a betting mood today, I plan on getting some work done today," Neal remarked as he walked back to his desk and sat down. Pulling a note book out he made a few columns and titled each one with small lettering before closing the book and excusing himself for coffee at the shop on the corner. None of the agents thought anything else of it since Neal went for coffee every morning.

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><p>Neal came back twenty minutes later with a coffee and a paper bag from the corner market, no one paid attention even where there was a loud click of a jar unsealing. After a minute Neal glanced around as he pulled a large deli pickle wedge out of the jar, the faint sent of vinegar filled the air alerting everyone to what he bought.<p>

When he was sure everyone was watching him he pretended not to notice as he stuck his tongue out to catch the drops of vinegar. Once the drops were gone Neal waited a second before putting the pickle in his mouth. As soon as he closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat he heard the tell tale smack of someone walking into the glass door by his desk.

Letting out a moan showing how good the pickle tasted Neal smirked around the pickled cucumber as he started to munch it until there was nothing left. Once the pickle was gone Neal licked his fingers clean before reaching into the jar and pulled out another dripping wedge. Before the drops had even gathered at the bottom of the medium sized wedge Neal shoved most of the pickle wedge into his mouth with a small groan.

It was at that moment Neal swore he heard the train of thought for most of the other agents come to a crashing halt. Giving an internal smirk Neal sat up and looked at the other agents and he finished the pickle with everyone looking away especially the male agents who were flushed at the improper thoughts they were thinking about Neal.

Getting up from his seat Neal walked through the center aisle of the desks to the small kitchen area for a paper towel to wipe his hands so he could get back to work, as he passed by the other agents he watched them all turn away to hide their blush tinted cheeks. With an all knowing smirk Neal returned to his desk and sat down to look in the jar and found the biggest wedge of pickle and smirked. He knew that he ruled the bullpen after his little show but he just wanted to make sure.

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><p>Peter sipped his coffee as he stepped into the elevator with Hughes; they talked about the run through for the day on what cases Peter would be taking Neal on. "Sir, I had no idea Neal was going to act so childish yesterday. I will talk to him when I get to the office," Peter said as the elevator chimed on the twenty-first floor. Peter walked out of the elevator with Hughes still sipping his coffee and looked in the bull pen before rolling his eyes at the agents and turning his gaze on Neal who had his lips wrapped around the end of a pickle and nibbling on the end.<p>

"You do realize everyone has to work; they can't keep watching you all day or no one is going to get anything done," Peter remarked as he tried to look away from Neal and only found it harder to look away especially when Neal locked eyes with him.

Clearing his throat Peter grabbed Neal by his arm and pulled him out the glass door and down the hall. Neal smirked "I think pickles just became my new favorite snack," Neal remarked as he let Peter drag him down the hall toward the bathroom. "Peter what happened to your rule about having sex at work?" Neal asked as he was yanked into the bathroom with a small yelp.

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><p>Hughes walked out of his office to speak to Peter and found him and Neal missing, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked at his agents "Jones, get rid of those pickles and everyone else get back to work," Hughes ordered as he walked back into his office and mumbled about college minded children.<p>

Half an hour later Neal walked back into the office with a smile on his face that just screamed 'I had sex at work and it was amazing' not bothering to even hide his accomplishment Neal sat at his desk and smirked as he got back to his reports for Peter . Twenty minutes later Peter walked into the office and ignored the looks he was getting as he walked into his office. He knew that everyone else knew what he had just done… then again Neal was the personification of lust that could drive any man so insane that he would have sex at work. If he hadn't done it someone else would have.

Peter looked at his folders in front of him. _If Neal can do that with a pickle I wonder what he can do with a cupcake? _Peter thought as he picked up a pen and began to fill out his paperwork for the pending cases he had waiting.


	3. Chapter 3

**(( I apologize for the long wait but here you go and please enjoy hehe, Peppe thank you for betaing this. I hope you all read and review just to say it gave you a giggle))**

**Chapter 3: Cupcake Interrogation**

Peter stared across the table at the suspect he had arrested the man hadn't said a word nor had he called a lawyer which meant he was still fair game. _We've tried everything to get this guy to talk and nothing, though when Neal was in here earlier he did watch him…maybe we should use that to our advantage…._ "Neal! Stop trying to break into my desk and get in here," Peter called from his seat.

Sticking his head in through the doorway that led to Peter's office Neal looked at his handler as he tried to slip his lock picking set back into his pocket without Peter seeing. "You rang?" Neal asked with a charming smile that could rope in even the most dangerous criminals and make them beg. Peter smirked "I want you to talk to our guest here for a few minutes while I go make a few phone calls… can you keep out of trouble?" Peter asked as he stood up with a smirk.

Neal smirked and ran his finger over his bottom lip. "Of course I can Peter and if you want I can get him to talk for you and it won't be very hard at all… or it just might be," Neal said as he sat in the chair Peter had been occupying just a few minutes prior. Peter nodded as he left the conference room to get what Neal wanted. The suspect eyed Neal cautiously. He wondered what the younger man planned to do to him to get him to talk.

"You know I have rights you can't torture me… this is America," the man said his voice wavering a bit. Neal smirked "Oh I know that and I can't physically torture you or mentally but there is a third option that is sort of a loophole to the rule that bends anyone to my will," Neal remarked as Peter came back into the room with a plate of three large cupcakes with vanilla frosting and a cherry on top. "I love cupcakes especially ones with frosting and cherries on them," Neal remarked as he grabbed the stem of one of the cherries and lifted it off the cupcake.

Lifting the cherry up to his lips Neal smirked as he licked the frosting off the bottom of the cherry until it was clean, "I love the mixture of vanilla and cherries they seem so erotic for some reason…what do you think?" Neal asked with a smirk. The man sitting across the table swallowed hard as he watched Neal suck on the cherry for a few minutes before he loosened his tie a bit. Neal smirked at the man's action as he nibbled on the cherry until there was nothing left but the pit stuck to the stem. When he was finished Neal threw the inedible part over his shoulder before reaching over and grabbing the other two cherries off the cupcakes and began to lick the frosting off them. "You know if you confess maybe you can get visitors in prison…" Neal said in a husky voice that implied sex was going to follow.

Not able to take it any longer the suspect jumped to his feet. "Alright I did it I stole the old man's money!" he yelled loud enough for the agents in the bullpen to hear. Neal stood up and walked out of the conference room and made his way over to Peter, Diana and Jones. "At least this time I didn't have to take off my pants," he remarked as he finished off the two cherries he was holding and walked towards his desk. Peter smirked at Jones and Diana's fish mouth expressions. "I just hope you're wearing underwear this time," Peter remarked Neal smirked and reached back and grabbed the top of his pants and folded them down low enough to reveal he was going commando that day. Turning around Neal looked at his partner. "I'm hungry," he announced.

"How about we go for hot dogs?"Peter asked with a smirk.


	4. Chapter 4

**(( SO sorry for the delay everyone and this chapter is dedicated to HuffynDK because this was a request chapter and I hope everyone enjoys it, I know Neal sure won't haha please review if you want the next chapter sooner))  
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**Chapter 4: Hot Day Hotdogs**

Neal stood beside Peter as he got his hot dog, once they both had their hot dogs they walked two blocks to City Hall park and found a secluded bench under a tree and hidden from the sidewalk view. "I hope you saved enough room for lunch after all those cherries you licked clean," Peter remarked as he unwrapped his hot dog and looked at it. Looking up from his lunch he noticed Neal was taking his hat off and putting it on the edge of the bench where they were sitting. "I'm fine Peter; you know what I've always found hot dogs to be a very interesting meal…if you catch my drift," Neal remarked as he unwrapped his lunch and licked the dripping ketchup away.

Peter smirked as he raised his hot dog up to his mouth before pausing. "Neal… how about a friendly little wager, if you make any noise in the next twenty minutes you will have to stay late and do paperwork. But if you don't make a peep then I will take you to that art exhibit you want to see at the museum this weekend," Peter said with a smirk. Neal beamed a million watt smile and mimicked a zipper over his lips as he started to eat his hot dog before it got cold. Still smirking Peter waited until his partner was done eating. The moment he heard the crushing of the foil from Neal's wrapper he looked at the younger man.

Not wanting to lose the wager Neal chewed on his bottom lip as he tried to stay quiet. Peter smirked and lifted his hot dog up. "You're right hot dogs are an interesting meal… do you know what I like to do sometimes I like to lick the condiments off so I can enjoy every little bite," Peter remarked as he started to lick the ketchup and mustard off his hotdog slowly. Neal swallowed hard as he watched Peter play with his food. Opening his mouth to speak he realized what was at stake and snapped his mouth shut.

"Were you about to say something to me Neal?" Peter asked as he lowered his hot dog a bit. Shaking his head no vigorously Neal kept very quiet as he watched Peter resume his torturous playing with his food. Right away Neal began to breathe heavy as he tried to keep from letting out even the slightest moan. Pulling his hotdog away Peter looked at Neal. "Let's make this even more fun, sit on your hands I don't want you getting any cute ideas," Peter said as he watched Neal put his hands under his knees to keep them from getting in the way.

Neal felt his self-control snapping like a bundle of twigs. Peter gave an inner smirk at the reaction he was getting from Neal. Giving the hot dog another cleaning lick to make sure he got every speck of mustard from between the encased beef link and the roll. Giving inner groan Neal decided that he would look away and ignore the other man but before he even had a chance to look away Neal looked Peter in the eye. In an instant he was trapped by his partner's intense gaze. It was then that Neal realized that he wouldn't be able to look away no matter how hard he tried. Peter smirked and lowered his hot dog. He knew that he had Neal hooked.

"Do you want to talk?" Peter asked when he saw Neal shake his head no, determined to get the trip to the museum Neal kept his lips together and closed his eyes to save himself from seeing anything that would make him want to make a sound. "Open your eyes Neal… you will forfeit if you don't," Peter warned as he waited. Neal pouted as he opened his eyes. "You only have ten minutes to go Neal, can you handle it?" Peter asked with a smirk.

The ex con nodded; as he stopped he saw ketchup on Peter's lips. Leaning over he quickly licked it off with a quick swipe of his skilled tongue. "Ah…ah Neal no physical contact; that's an automatic disqualification of the wager," Pete said before finishing his hotdog in three bites. Neal huffed and pouted as he got to his feet and stormed off. Peter sighed and grabbed Neal's hat off the bench and followed nearly ten feet behind the ex con. "Neal you can't pout forever," Peter called as he started to close the gap between him and Neal. "I'm not pouting I'm planning my revenge, you don't know where and you don't know when but I will get you back" Neal promised as he came to the street corner.


	5. Chapter 5

** The long awaited chapter 5, this might be the last chapter since I haven't been hit by my muse anymore unless I get a bunch of reviews, requests, or suggestions I'm all ears.  
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**Chapter 5: Bananas in the Bedroom**

Elizabeth opened the front door and smiled. "Oh Neal thanks for coming over on such short notice, Peter hurt his back and I'm going to be late for my flight if I don't leave soon," she said as she rushed around the living room gathering her bags for her trip. Neal smiled as he walked into the house carrying a plastic bag. "I'll take very good care of Peter and I'll make sure he gets a lot of rest, you just enjoy your trip in San Francisco and take a million pictures and tell your family hey for me," Neal said as he shooed Elizabeth out of the house and into her waiting cab.

Neal stood smiling on the stoop now that he had two weeks alone with Peter. "It's been a week since we had lunch in the park and now I get two weeks to exact my revenge. I better get to work," Neal remarked as he walked back inside and closed the door behind him. Heading up the stairs to the second floor Neal kicked off his shoes and removed his coat and shirt before he slipped into the master bedroom. Before him was the greatest sight in the world. A defenseless FBI agent lying on his stomach, moving like a mouse Neal moved up behind Peter and straddled his hips.

"Hello Agent Burke… I'm Neal and I'll be your very naughty nurse for the next two weeks," Neal said seductively as he put his hands on Peter's bare back and began to give him a deep muscle massage. Peter's eyes snapped open and turned his head as far as he could to look at Neal pinning his hips down. "Neal, get off me I'm resting," Peter ordered as he tried to sit up. "Oh now don't be like that, Elizabeth asked me to come and take care of you because you hurt yourself," Neal said as he pressed his thumbs into Peter's shoulder blades earning a loud groan and Peter's arms turning into jelly and making him fall back against his pillow. "I see you like that… well then how about this?" Neal asked as he pressed a little harder and moved down Peter's spine very slowly making sure to press on each vertebra, Peter groaned louder.

Smirking widely Neal sat back and removed his skilled hands. Peter snapped his eyes open again. "Neal, please my back is killing me, please keep going," Peter requested as he reached his hand back and found Neal's knee against the bottom of his rib cage. "Well you did say please," Neal remarked as he began to rub Peter's back again. "You know Peter… you got me all hot and heavy a couple weeks ago in the park do you remember? I promised I would get my revenge and this is it," Neal purred as he leaned over and pressed he bare chest against Peter's back and ran his hands down Peter's outstretched arms. "This doesn't seem like much of a revenge plot," Peter remarked with a chuckle.

Sitting back up Neal sat back up and crawled off of Peter. "Oh this isn't your revenge this is pre revenge, I want you at a hundred percent before I exact my perfectly planned out revenge against you," Neal stated as he walked out of the room and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. Neal looked around the kitchen and found what he was looking for. When he returned to the bedroom he saw Peter trying to sit up. "Nu uh… you're not getting up yet you need to stay in bed and rest, and I'm going to make sure you stay there with this," Neal said as he grabbed Peter's hand cuffs from the night stand. Moving Peter's arms up over his head Neal cuffed Peter's hands to the head board. When he was done Neal crawled onto the bed beside Peter.

"I brought something to have a little fun with, well more fun for me than you…."Neal said as he produced a brand new can of whipped cream and a couple bananas. "My ultimate revenge is you have to lay there and watch me while I enjoy a mid-morning snack of bananas and whipped cream," Neal said with a smirk. Before Neal could separate a banana from the bunch he was flipped over and nearly toppled over the edge of the bed.

Neal looked up in shock and found the handcuffs dangling from Peter's finger. "Nice try… but I've been practicing for just such an occasion, and now your plans are taking a back seat," Peter growled as he grabbed a second pair of hand cuffs hidden under the pillow and stretched Neal's arms out over his head and cuffed each wrist separately a good distance from one another. "Oh Agent Burke I didn't think you could be so naughty," Neal said with a smirk as he tugged on the cuffs playfully.

Peter smirked and got off the bed and walked to the end of the bed and looked down at him. "This is perfect… I've caught you three times now," Peter said as he examined the can of whipped cream that Neal had dropped. Dragging the nozzle of the can across Neal's lips he smirked. "Now I want you to admit and on recorded record that I am the best FBI agent and you Neal Caffrey have submitted to me," Peter remarked as he grabbed his phone and turned the camera on and waited for Neal to speak. "I will admit that you are a good FBI agent Peter… but for the record-" Neal said as he bit his lip a bit seductively. "I never submit and you should know that by now, you just manage to get me to lower my guard every now and then," he added.

"Besides… this whole time you've been too busy watching my face," Neal remarked as he brought his hands down the handcuffs missing. "We still have a can of cream to play with," he added taking the phone and turning it off.


End file.
